Paava Kadhaigal: South Indian Lessons on The Power of Choosing Self Over Societ

Tamil-language anthology web series Paava Kadhaigal explores how honour, reputation and community are tightly woven together, as its young protagonists return and yearn for acceptance in their childhood homes, in a battle between conforming to others versus following your own heart. The painful lesson being, they will regret not choosing themselves and braking away to take their own path, even if it means being estranged from their loved ones. How, even if you try to please society, they will still not approve.

It's a lifelong struggle to challenge the prejudices and stubborn hold to tradition their communities have and be able to truly walk away for good. These characters are inspiring in how they bravely live their truth and oh so relatable in their common weakness - unconditional love, a constant pull back to family and a need to be truly accepted and loved. They pay the price for doing so.

In ‘Thangam’, trans protagonist Sathar (Kalidas Jayaram) bears the brunt of choosing to remain fearlessly true to their self; outcast by fellow villagers and facing daily violence from a father and misogyny from local male creeps. When beloved childhood friend Saravanan (Shanthanu Bhagyaraj) and younger sister Sahira (Bhavani Sre), are violently threatened out of the village, their relationship punished for dint of association to Sathar, they are all forced to make sacrifices.

Caste, honour and pride clash with family, love and acceptance in father-daughter tale Love Panna Uttranum, featuring rapper Stony Psyko, who waxes lyrical on “letting love be”. Feudal lord Veerasimman pretends to accept younger daughter Aadhi’s relationship with his personal driver, all the while scheming to have her killed, with the help of his corrupt associates. In the end, it’s older daughter Jothi who pays him a lesson in love not being conditional, when she forces her father and the village men to confront their prejudices.

Vaanmagal sees a close-knit family torn apart by sexual violence and shame. Despite taking extra care to advise older daughter Vaidehi on how to protect herself as a young woman, it’s younger sister Ponnuthaayi who ends up paying the price. Wracked with fear and shame, the parents hide the truth of what’s happened, rather than ask for help or justice. Instead, they can only find possible solace and relief in an imagined shot of cruelly punishing their daughter instead. The fact it doesn’t really happens doesn’t take away that thought; the pressure to blame the survivor and be rid of the guilt through them, and the power of society to decide what allows you pride, prestige and honour.

“Education made you forget traditions” is what pregnant Sumathi is scolded with in Oor Iravu, when she returns to the family home, hopeful of a possible reconciliation, after eloping to marry lower-caste Hari years earlier. Like the protagonists in the other episodes, her decision to choose her own life has consequences for all the family, with none of her younger siblings are able to attend college due to being outcasted in the community because of her actions. That pressure of restoring family pride and honour ultimately, tragically and literally kills any hope of family reunion. Not even the news of her gift to the family – an unborn grandchild – is enough. The pressure of society wins.